Please DON’T Ask

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Don't Ask image


The fact that before anyone ever asks me my name they want to know what happened to me is absurd.  This would ,in fact, be empowering if they wanted to know my story, my journey. However, what really happens when my amputation is the forefront of our conversation is that you begin to compartmentalize aspects of my identity by your standards.  You deny me agency in establishing the very basic foundation of who I AM.  In a way, you are trivializing the value of me as an entire human being, with her own name, thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

So before asking me what happened, please just ask me my name, or about how I’m doing, where I’m from– anything that make me feel like a person instead of a little cute nub attached to a person.


Then, we can talk about whatever.

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4 thoughts on “Please DON’T Ask

  1. hannah

    Hi, My name is Hannah Olateju

    I’m a 16 year old quadruple amputee and i was reading your blog and i found it very interesting, all the things you said about insecurities were exactly how i was feeling and i felt so relieved that someone has a deep understanding of the things that go through an amputee’s mind.

    It’s nice to see an amputee giving people an insight into what it’s really like to be an amputee and what we go through daily.

    If you don’t mind i really need some advice about some insecurities i have and it would be nice to get an amputee’s advice.

    You can email me at: hannaholateju1@gmail.com

    Keep up the good work!

    • Hi Hannah!! Thank you so much for your kind words. 🙂 I’m happy that you can relate. I’ll be emailing you shortly so we can talk more!

      Talk to you soon.

      ❤ Amber S.

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